Tamara's Story
I do apologize if this is very long, but I want to help others understand Dyslexia and ADHD as much as I can and maybe help those who suffer from both feel they are not alone.
For as long as I can remember, I've always found learning hard. The only part of Primary school that I enjoyed was PE and seeing my friends. Everything else however was a completely different ball game. I always loved learning and still do. I have many interests and even as a grown up feel like "I want to be everything and do everything" as so much interests me.
I think the worst thing a child can be told is "Your being lazy" my mother was informed that I wasn't trying hard enough and that I was lazy when I first started school, my brother used to help me tie my shoe laces and hang my coat up as he was only 2 and a half years older then me.
I'll be brutally honest, even to this day I'm unhappy with the woman who taught me and told me these things. I probably would have grown up to be a confident child, if I hadn't been told these things, as it only ended up going from good to worse.
For as long as I can remember, I've always found learning hard. The only part of Primary school that I enjoyed was PE and seeing my friends. Everything else however was a completely different ball game. I always loved learning and still do. I have many interests and even as a grown up feel like "I want to be everything and do everything" as so much interests me.
I think the worst thing a child can be told is "Your being lazy" my mother was informed that I wasn't trying hard enough and that I was lazy when I first started school, my brother used to help me tie my shoe laces and hang my coat up as he was only 2 and a half years older then me.
I'll be brutally honest, even to this day I'm unhappy with the woman who taught me and told me these things. I probably would have grown up to be a confident child, if I hadn't been told these things, as it only ended up going from good to worse.
I learn by watching and doing at the same time |
I remember one day in particular I couldn't of been any older then about 7-8 and we were given a project to design a hat out of clay, going by what we wanted to be when we grew up. I'm not sure why, but at the time, I liked the idea of going into the Police Force, but it seemed like a good idea.
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I was struggling to put the two together, I'd been given a flat piece of clay, and was being asked to try and make it 3D. How? I hadn't been show how to. I had to simply figure it out. I'm a very honest person, and turned around to my teacher and explained that I couldn't do it. I was then shouted at to get on with it. The more frustrated I got, the more I was shouted at, I ended up crying at the time. I'd been completely misunderstood. I was struggling and I needed help.
I learn by watching and doing at the same time. I'm not sure why I learn like this but I do. I can remember even to this day, my teacher going to my mum and telling her that I'd gotten upset over something silly and was being lazy. I may have only been young, but I gave my teacher the evilest look you can imagine, I was young but I knew what dishonesty meant.
Things unfortunately didn't get any better. A few years later, I was kept back a whole term, in hope that if I was to learn everything again, I would remember it all. Well, I didn't. They couldn't work out why I was unable to learn my times table, or why I didn't seem to take in any information whatsoever.
I''ve never been able to learn maths the way we were taught at school, write it down on paper. My brain didn't understand any of that. I do maths in a very unique way. I see the numbers not only in colors of Red and Blue but as if they were projected in front of me. I used my hands to move the numbers about, if done this way, I can do maths reasonably quick and see where I've gone wrong straight away as I can physically see it.
I learn by watching and doing at the same time. I'm not sure why I learn like this but I do. I can remember even to this day, my teacher going to my mum and telling her that I'd gotten upset over something silly and was being lazy. I may have only been young, but I gave my teacher the evilest look you can imagine, I was young but I knew what dishonesty meant.
Things unfortunately didn't get any better. A few years later, I was kept back a whole term, in hope that if I was to learn everything again, I would remember it all. Well, I didn't. They couldn't work out why I was unable to learn my times table, or why I didn't seem to take in any information whatsoever.
I''ve never been able to learn maths the way we were taught at school, write it down on paper. My brain didn't understand any of that. I do maths in a very unique way. I see the numbers not only in colors of Red and Blue but as if they were projected in front of me. I used my hands to move the numbers about, if done this way, I can do maths reasonably quick and see where I've gone wrong straight away as I can physically see it.
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Secondary school really wasn't any easier. Teachers knew something wasn't quite right but didn't seem to make any effort to find out what it was. I struggled with everything but Drama. I can't even remember how many times I must have failed a Geography test. I didn't get it and I couldn't read a map.
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I passed my driving test first time, but failed the theory 4 times |
I try even to this day not to use a Sat Nav because it confuses the heck out of me. When traveling by car, I never know the names of roads, because I see the route in pictures. I just know how to get there judging by what I see, a house, road markings, a pub. If I've never been somewhere before, I need to have someone show me i.e they will sit next to me and guide me, whilst I'm being guided it's like my brain is taking a photograph as once I've been shown I know where to go next time and 9/10 never forget the route again.
I passed my driving test first time, but failed the theory 4 times before passing, as I see in pictures and not in words. Most subjects were pretty much the same. I would learn Maths through playing board games, I have the deepest respect for my Maths teachers at Secondary school as they knew how I saw things and tried to bring that into the classroom, they also made it enjoyable.
In my opinion I failed most of my GCSE's, expect for one, getting a B in Drama. At the time, I had my heart set on being an Actress and had already made a good start by getting a good grade. I happily went on to study Performing Arts at College, which I am happy to say I came out with 3 A* in. I loved every minute of it and found a way of expressing myself.
I passed my driving test first time, but failed the theory 4 times before passing, as I see in pictures and not in words. Most subjects were pretty much the same. I would learn Maths through playing board games, I have the deepest respect for my Maths teachers at Secondary school as they knew how I saw things and tried to bring that into the classroom, they also made it enjoyable.
In my opinion I failed most of my GCSE's, expect for one, getting a B in Drama. At the time, I had my heart set on being an Actress and had already made a good start by getting a good grade. I happily went on to study Performing Arts at College, which I am happy to say I came out with 3 A* in. I loved every minute of it and found a way of expressing myself.
I know many Dyslexics who see in picture |
I'm not sure why I found acting easy, but when learning scripts, I put each word with a picture and find myself learning scripts in a few days. When fellow students and friends would take weeks. To their amusement physically couldn't work out how I was doing it, to be honest, I can't explain it either, its just how I think.
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I know many Dyslexics who see in picture, I think this is why we are misunderstood as it is not considered the norm. I've managed to find a job in which I can keep and find enjoyable. I run my own business working as a DJ. It seems to come naturally to me and I find myself having a talent in this area and hope to keep doing it until the day comes for me to retire.
I gave up trying to get a normal job after being let go by 7 different companies. Each manager saying "We like you and you work hard, but your not fast enough" my self esteem dropped so much that I quite literally took matters into my own hands. Self employment works because no only are we able to express ourselves in whatever way we like, but no one can fire us or let us go. We are in control at all times. Self employement should be encouraged more.
Everyone has a gift. No one with a learning difficulty is stupid, our brains are simply wired so differently that society can't even to try to understand. I hope that myself and others can help society to understand and start to see it as something normal, not something different.
I gave up trying to get a normal job after being let go by 7 different companies. Each manager saying "We like you and you work hard, but your not fast enough" my self esteem dropped so much that I quite literally took matters into my own hands. Self employment works because no only are we able to express ourselves in whatever way we like, but no one can fire us or let us go. We are in control at all times. Self employement should be encouraged more.
Everyone has a gift. No one with a learning difficulty is stupid, our brains are simply wired so differently that society can't even to try to understand. I hope that myself and others can help society to understand and start to see it as something normal, not something different.
In Tamara's own words - March 2013